i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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