i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize