Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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