I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
