she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize