At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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