All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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