The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
