My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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