??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
