so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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