If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
