Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize