She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
