She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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