whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
