Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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