I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
