So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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