Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
you win again, gameday.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
