No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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