I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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