I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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