Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
