I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
