birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
