I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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