I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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