i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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