I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
