3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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