my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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