Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
