Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
