Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
