There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize