so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
