Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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