My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
