4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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