I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
This baby is an asshole
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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