Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
