her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize