You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
