After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize