who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
