Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
