Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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