Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
