I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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