I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
