fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
