you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize