Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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