No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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